Fastexy Exchange|Kieran Culkin Winning His First Golden Globe and Telling Pedro Pascal to "Suck It" Is the Energy We Need

Kieran Culkin brought a little bit of Roman Roy with him to the stage at the 2024 Golden Globes.

How else do Fastexy Exchangeyou explain him poking fun at a man who has his arm in a cast, after all?!

Obviously it was all in good fun when Culkin, the night's winner for Best Actor in a Drama Series for his pitch-perfect performance as the tied-for-first-most-complicated heir on HBO's Succession, told fellow nominee Pedro Pascal just what to do.

"I was nominated for a Golden Globe [for Igby Goes Down] like 20 years ago," Culkin said, "and when that moment passed I remember thinking I would never be back in this room again. Which was fine, whatever, but thanks to Succession I've been in here a couple times, it's nice. This is a nice moment."

He quickly added, holding up his statue, "Suck it, Pedro, sorry. Mine."

The star of The Last of Us, who had what we call a year-long moment in 2023, chuckled and then mimed a sad face though his shoulders continued to shudder with laughter.

And that, friends, is what we call HBO synergy.

But for the most part, the ever-wry Culkin brother was adorably self-deprecating, deadpanning as he reached the stage, "Oh, nightmare, ugh. Sit down!"

Then he apologized for burping, quipping, "Didn't need to say that. Otherwise this is a nice moment for me. I've blown it already, Jazz [Charton, his wife who gave him a huge congratulatory kiss after his name was called], you were right. 'Just say thanks and leave,' you were right."

He thanked the writers and cast of Succession, "everybody that showed up that believed in this thing, that was very cool. This isn't mine, this is one for the team."

Urged to wrap it up, Culkin held it up to thank the three amazing women in his life: his manager, his wife ("thanks for putting up with this and all that comes with it", and his mom. 

"My wonderful mom," he said, his eyes starting to mist over, "thank you so much for doing everything you did for us. You're an amazing woman."

Keep reading to see every star who won a Golden Globe tonight:

Anatomy of a Fall
Killers of the Flower Moon
Maestro
Oppenheimer
Past Lives
The Zone of Interest

Air
American Fiction
Barbie
The Holdovers
May December
Poor Things

Annette Bening, Nyad
Cailee Spaeny, Priscilla
Carey Mulligan, Maestro
Greta Lee, Past Lives
Lily Gladstone, Killers of the Flower Moon
Sandra Hüller, Anatomy of a Fall

Andrew Scott, All of Us Strangers
Barry Keoghan, Saltburn
Bradley Cooper, Maestro
WINNER: Cillian Murphy, Oppenheimer
Colman Domingo, Rustin
Leonardo DiCaprio, Killers of the Flower Moon

Alma Pöysti, Fallen Leaves
WINNER: Emma Stone, Poor Things
Fantasia Barrino, The Color Purple
Jennifer Lawrence, No Hard Feelings
Margot Robbie, Barbie
Natalie Portman, May December

Jeffrey Wright, American Fiction
Joaquin Phoenix, Beau Is Afraid
Matt Damon, Air
Nicolas Cage, Dream Scenario
Paul Giamatti, The Holdovers
Timothée Chalamet, Wonka

Danielle Brooks, The Color Purple
WINNER: Da'Vine Joy Randolph, The Holdovers
Emily Blunt, Oppenheimer
Jodie Foster, Nyad
Julianne Moore, May December
Rosamund, Pike, Saltburn

Charles Melton, May December
Mark Ruffalo, Poor Things
Robert De Niro, Killers of the Flower Moon
WINNER: Robert Downey Jr., Oppenheimer
Ryan Gosling, Barbie
Willem Dafoe, Poor Things

1923
The Crown
The Diplomat
The Last of Us
The Morning Show
Succession

Abbott Elementary
Barry
WINNER: The Bear
Jury Duty
Only Murders in the Building
Ted Lasso

All the Light We Cannot See
WINNER: Beef
Daisy Jones & The Six
Fargo
Fellow Travelers
Lessons in Chemistry 

Bella Ramsey, The Last of Us
Emma Stone, The Curse
Helen Mirren, 1923
Imelda Staunton, The Crown
Keri Russell, The Diplomat
Sarah Snook, Succession

Brian Cox, Succession
Dominic West, The Crown
Gary Oldman, Slow Horses
Jeremy Strong, Succession
WINNER: Kieran Culkin, Succession
Pedro Pascal, The Last of Us

WINNER: Ayo Edebiri, The Bear
Elle Fanning, The Great
Natasha Lyonne, Poker Face
Quinta Brunson, Abbott Elementary
Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Selena Gomez, Only Murders in the Building

Bill Hader, Barry
Jason Segel, Shrinking
Jason Sudeikis, Ted Lasso
WINNER: Jeremy Allen White, The Bear
Steve Martin, Only Murders in the Building
Martin Short, Only Murders in the Building

WINNER: Ali Wong, Beef
Brie Larson, Lessons in Chemistry
Elizabeth Olsen, Love & Death
Juno Temple, Fargo
Rachel Weisz, Dead Ringers
Riley Keough, Daisy Jones & The Six

David Oyelowo, Lawmen: Bass Reeves
Jon Hamm, Fargo
Matt Bomer, Fellow Travelers
Sam Claflin, Daisy Jones & The Six
WINNER: Steven Yeun, Beef 
Woody Harrelson, White House Plumbers

Abby Elliott, The Bear
Christina Ricci, Yellowjackets
WINNER: Elizabeth Debicki, The Crown
Hannah Waddingham, Ted Lasso
J. Smith-Cameron, Succession
Meryl Streep, Only Murders in the Building

Alan Ruck, Succession
Alexander Skarsgård, Succession
Billy Crudup, The Morning Show
Ebon Moss-Bachrach, The Bear
WINNER: Matthew Macfadyen, Succession
James Marsden, Jury Duty